Difficult.

{Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.  It is shameful even to
 mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—

and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.} 

- Ephesians 5:11-13

Difficult. 

These past few weeks, well months, have been simply this and it's time to be honest, time to be real. 

Let me break it down for you beginning with this past summer. 

As you all know, I fell hard for fella which led to an unhealthy obsession and heartache. Funny it seems, that as soon as I let him go, Mr. M was brought into my life. 

 At a mission project called Impact, I met this charming guy. After about two weeks of "talking" as some folks say, he drove me up to stone mountain and asked to begin a relationship. Considering I had college starting in the next two weeks, he knew that we were moving fast, but he wanted to "plant the seed," so to speak. 

Overall, our relationship has been oh so wonderful. We can talk about God and our struggles, build each other up, encourage each other to live in Christ daily, and just simply be ourselves together. However, there is one part of our relationship that is just, well, difficult. 

As much as he and I both want to honor each other and for this relationship to be Christ-centered, we still struggle with our sexual desires. No, we haven't done the deed, a version of the deed, or taken clothes off, but still the actions were intentional and the mind set I believe wasn't to honor one another. We both lost control and that's scary because think of where it could have gone if either one of us hadn't stopped.

I am honestly ashamed. So embarrassed because I am one of those girls who said "that will NEVER happen to me because I will NEVER let it go that far or let someone take advantage of me like that." But ladies, and gents, listen. I was wrong about that. This sin was a temptation that God knows I am not "good enough" to overcome by myself. 

To take action, we have bought a devotion to complete together, are sending each other verses, and are talking about it openly with one another to try and break the habit/issue at hand. We also are praying that this temptation be taken from us because this kind of sexual immortality is lust that will not lead to love. 

I am asking you lovely readers to help by praying for this struggle of ours. I thank you so much for allowing me to be honest and truthful. I am NOT perfect by any means and we all have our struggles in different areas/dealing with different sins. I would love to pray for any issues you are going through (please comment below with your email address!)

Thank you again gals xoxo