{11} the heart that matters

{In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith — of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire — may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.}   - 1 Peter 1:6-7

Lately, I have really been struggling with my walk as Christ's disciple.  This past week, our church went through a time of "refresh" (like revival).  The guest speaker was so powerful and I gained so much understanding of the power of our Almighty God.  Throughout the series of sermons this week, I  felt a a tugging at my heart that couldn't resist examining.  Yesterday (Wed.), we had a youth service that allowed me to do just this.  The whole service was dedicated to singing praise and worshiping through scripture verses. At the very end, if we felt lead, we were allowed to write something burdening us or something that we felt God had laid on our hearts this week on a bulletin board.  All I could think during this time was, "Catherine, you need to serve God in the way you say you do...not lead a double life, not just read the bible for your own pleasures, not pray when its convienent...you need to become a disciple and get down on your knees and worship!"  When the service closed, I rushed to my car and began weeping with pain and sorrow.  I had confessed to everyone on the bulletin board my struggles and now they were out...now they were real. On my drive home, I cryed out to the Lord and told him my agony.  I told him what I wanted to be on fire for him and that he could have complete control of my life again.  I will never forget this night when the Lord was ever-so present to me.  Now, I must give it all to Christ today, tomorrow, and in the future.

Dress: Delia's
Cardigan: Goodwill
Shoes: Candie's via Khols
Belt: Mom's
Necklace/Ring: Lucky Brand/F21

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